Bold truth: Unreasonable expectations about what a wife should bring to the table fuel a culture of unfair scrutiny and control, and that mindset hurts everyone in a marriage.
A well-known matchmaker, Anand Handa, recently weighed in for those actively seeking partners on matrimonial sites or with their boyfriends. He argues that the real measure of a husband or wife isn’t a transactional checklist, but shared responsibility and mutual growth after marriage. Handa’s online profile highlights a history of more than 100 successful, high-level matches and over 20,000 counseling sessions.
What does Handa say to aspiring wives?
He asserts that many men today ask, “What do you bring to the table as a wife?” He characterizes this as a widespread and growing problem, and he admits he doesn’t have a satisfying answer to the question. When a suitor demands financial support from his partner, or insists that his partner must shoulder some or all financial responsibilities, Handa argues that such a stance signals a deeper issue: a lack of readiness to take on marital responsibilities.
Handa goes further, stating that a husband who expects financial support from his wife, or who declares that he cannot fully support the family or must settle for a 50-50 arrangement, is unlikely to be a reliable or responsible partner. He frames this as a red flag about long-term commitment and accountability.
Wife’s earnings as a bonus, not a burden
Handa emphasizes that a wife’s income should be viewed as an extra layer of security and independence, not a replacement for shared duties. He notes that women who work often cover their own expenses and contribute to the household, which he sees as a baseline expectation rather than a privilege.
He warns young women to avoid relationships with men who demand financial sacrifice from them. In his view, marrying such a man is risky because he may shirk responsibility and fail to support his spouse and children in the long run. He argues that a man who refuses to shoulder his fair share of responsibility is unlikely to become a good husband or father.
Potential backlash and context
Handa acknowledges that his remarks could invite criticism or be misinterpreted as judgmental. He maintains that his point stands: the healthy foundation of a marriage depends on mutual accountability and a commitment to the family as a shared duty, not a one-sided burden.
Important note
This piece reflects content circulating on social media and has not been independently verified by Hindustan Times. Readers should consider multiple perspectives before drawing conclusions.
Would this perspective change how you evaluate a potential partner, or do you see room for different approaches to finances and household roles within marriage? Share your thoughts in the comments.
